Top Fifteen Things About Moving Out:
Told From Personal Experience

15. Making sure to turn off the stereo and WinAmp so "Balls in your Mouf" doesn't accidentally come on.
14. Throwing everything into one garbage bag--and confusing it with the garbage bag meant for real garbage.
13. Digging that garbage bag out of the dumpster.
12. Discretely kicking numerous things out of your parents' line of sight and telling them you'll catch up as you dump the contraband in the pile of "your roommate's stuff."
11. Having a nice lunch with your parents at one of those places you walk by and say "I should make my parents take me there."
10. Making your dad buy you a beer--finally.
9. Convincing your parents that you're holding 8 handles of liquor "for a friend."
8. Fighting through a hangover to pack all the boxes that should have been packed three days ago and to put into storage thoings that should have been put into storage three days ago.
7. Overcoming laws of physics, destroying traditional ideas of displacement and disproving relativity to get everything in the car.
6. Explaining every purchase of the past 9 months.
5. Introducing your father to everyone as the "swarthiest" one.
4. The overpowering smell from the spill of sesame oil by your U-mates.
3. Moving boxes and odd shaped containers across the oil slick presented by your U-mates' lubricative adventures in the land of spilled sesame oil.
2. Explaining the giant cut across your forehead without using the words "drunk," "keg," "chick," or "gay tutor" (this is how I got good at Taboo).
1. Realizing that you actually can't wait to get back to this place (and then realizing that you actually aren't leaving).