Gratitude
I have so much to be thankful for. My darkest hour would be an average (perhaps above-average) day for many people worldwide. I should just say thank you and end this post, but it's not that easy. Nothing's (that's probably the worst use of a contraction ever, but I kinda like how it looks). That's the Hallmark way, the Thanksgiving Day way, the gonna-be-thankful-and-throw-a-party-about-how-thankful-I-am way. And I'm guilty of those and more (including shoddy and limited reflection, lack of perspective, pride couched in modesty, even thanklessness, and the king of all gratitude-based evils: taking things for granted).
There's this delicate situation where you can be thankful without actually recognizing what you have. It's the positive/negative issue of have/have not, of Publican/Pharisee. As things are relative, it's important to find a valid and reasonable measuring stick. Is that measuring stick based on your actual absolute needs? Or is it based on others? Are you thankful for what you have because others don't have the same? Or are you thankful because you woke up alive to a sunrise, to an opportunity to live a little longer, discover a little more, fall on your face a few more times, smile, laugh, cry, live?
When I think of what I'm thankful for, I find that I don't really feel gratitude for the material things. That sounds like a very spoiled thing to say, and in part, I will readily admit that it is. At the same time, I almost can't feel grateful for them because they're so ephemeral, and because when I try to get to them, there's so many more things in line ahead of them, that I feel I would be wasting gratitude on them. Kinda like praying for a big-screen TV. Am I really thankful that I have a stereo system, a car, more pairs of jeans than I need? When I'm asked, yes, I am. But do they deserve my gratitude? Not before being thankful that I'm alive. That I have a wonderful family. That I knew all of my grandparents. That only a few times in my life have I known what it was like to fall asleep with a growling stomach. That I have my senses to understand the world. That there are miracles all around me that I don't recognize, but that make the world better. That I have been able to travel thousands of miles from my place of birth. That I have lived through illness. That I can read.
Life is flimsy, people are resilient. Gratitude means the most to me in that context. Tomorrow's never promised, but I've been given a great chance to make it there with some effort. And it's in that effort that I really try to display my gratitude. By trying as hard as I can to push forward, to realize the gifts I've been graced with, I can show in my actions that I am indeed more thankful than words, thankful with my whole life, for everything I've been given. Even the bad things (I think that they're there to keep me honest).
On many an evening, the streets of Cambridge were treated to a resounding, off-key chorus of: "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life." While a group of friends assaulting one another with their singing voices doesn't sound like the keenest expression of gratitude, the sentiment still rings true. This is a life I am so grateful for, and I must live my life earnestly or else I will fail to express that gratitude.
I have so much to be thankful for. My darkest hour would be an average (perhaps above-average) day for many people worldwide. I should just say thank you and end this post, but it's not that easy. Nothing's (that's probably the worst use of a contraction ever, but I kinda like how it looks). That's the Hallmark way, the Thanksgiving Day way, the gonna-be-thankful-and-throw-a-party-about-how-thankful-I-am way. And I'm guilty of those and more (including shoddy and limited reflection, lack of perspective, pride couched in modesty, even thanklessness, and the king of all gratitude-based evils: taking things for granted).
There's this delicate situation where you can be thankful without actually recognizing what you have. It's the positive/negative issue of have/have not, of Publican/Pharisee. As things are relative, it's important to find a valid and reasonable measuring stick. Is that measuring stick based on your actual absolute needs? Or is it based on others? Are you thankful for what you have because others don't have the same? Or are you thankful because you woke up alive to a sunrise, to an opportunity to live a little longer, discover a little more, fall on your face a few more times, smile, laugh, cry, live?
When I think of what I'm thankful for, I find that I don't really feel gratitude for the material things. That sounds like a very spoiled thing to say, and in part, I will readily admit that it is. At the same time, I almost can't feel grateful for them because they're so ephemeral, and because when I try to get to them, there's so many more things in line ahead of them, that I feel I would be wasting gratitude on them. Kinda like praying for a big-screen TV. Am I really thankful that I have a stereo system, a car, more pairs of jeans than I need? When I'm asked, yes, I am. But do they deserve my gratitude? Not before being thankful that I'm alive. That I have a wonderful family. That I knew all of my grandparents. That only a few times in my life have I known what it was like to fall asleep with a growling stomach. That I have my senses to understand the world. That there are miracles all around me that I don't recognize, but that make the world better. That I have been able to travel thousands of miles from my place of birth. That I have lived through illness. That I can read.
Life is flimsy, people are resilient. Gratitude means the most to me in that context. Tomorrow's never promised, but I've been given a great chance to make it there with some effort. And it's in that effort that I really try to display my gratitude. By trying as hard as I can to push forward, to realize the gifts I've been graced with, I can show in my actions that I am indeed more thankful than words, thankful with my whole life, for everything I've been given. Even the bad things (I think that they're there to keep me honest).
On many an evening, the streets of Cambridge were treated to a resounding, off-key chorus of: "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life." While a group of friends assaulting one another with their singing voices doesn't sound like the keenest expression of gratitude, the sentiment still rings true. This is a life I am so grateful for, and I must live my life earnestly or else I will fail to express that gratitude.
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