The New York Times calls men like me "metrosexuals." I call them homosuspicious. Basically, they're talking about fashion-conscious, museum-visiting, Grey-Goose-and-tonic-ordering, 28-pairs-of-shoes-owning guys. Apparently (says the Times), they're a marketer's dream. Would someone let me know if I can be marketted as urban chic and/or ambiguously straight? Because I really don't have any post-graduation plans yet that could compare with 6 Cosmos every night at the same East Village lounge. That newspaper (which also happens to be my favorite brand of toilet paper right after Harvard's standard issue sandpaper) can't find anything better to report on in New York frickin' City. I need to find my man-bag and go smoke some cloves....