Nostalgic Desecration or Myth Generation
One never seems to be able to escape oneself. Pretty obvious. It's some strange form of chess, inevitably destined to end in a stalemate. Because both sides know the other side's plan. Maybe I want to forget, maybe I won't let myself. Maybe pain sucks, maybe I need it to keep it real. I've never been clinically diagnosed with depression, paranoia or anything, but when victims of those conditions describe them, they explain them as forces that overcoming them completely, describing themselves as paralyzed, so taken by surprise as though a tidal wave came from nowhere and simply crushed them, with the moment before that just cycling and cycling and cycling. Seems maddening.
And sometimes I hit those moments. I have my haunts and haunts they are indeed because all sorts of phantasmagoria move in and out of them. Sometimes I drift into a Dalì, sometimes I stare off into emptiness. All the while though, reliving moments and deciding to shed them or hang onto them. Do I take my yearning for the past and live that life, or take the moments and make them myths, instead of memories? I differentiate between myths and memories with myths being collections of words to describe a past event in some way that can be consumed by the masses, and with memories being entire sequences of associations that combined recreate a past event. Myths you can share with anyone, memories, you can only share with others who shared that experience. So which will it be?
It's only when you start facing the past and the future that you must make decisions in the present. Sounds like something someone once said, but as far as I know, it's just an observation of mine: you can take the path of least resistance for a very long time, especially if you're talented and you can follow the path that's laid ahead of you by others, but the path of least resistance is self-effacing. What you've done in your past is never reviewed by you--it never needs to. You have no accountability to yourself. What you'll do in the future is laid ahead of you, and never requires any preparation other than what you're doing. And what you do in the present will never be reviewed by you, and while it will determine what you do, you'll be doing what's offered to you anyway, because you don't need to reflect. You can get to 40, 50 and not know what you are, what you're capable of and realize your lost potential.
This isn't here as career advice, this is here because it applies to personal lives as well. You can never reflect on your past, say yes to the best opportunity that comes along and keep that complacency or you can spend some tough time reflecting, answering questions for yourself, searching and looking for the future you want and making decisions. Again, you can be free of accountability, or you can own your life, own your decisions, and if you decide on the path of least resistance because it's the easiest, you can make that active decision. In that process you need to figure out nostalgia: do you enshrine it, or desecrate it? It seems like it's easiest to desecrate it, to popularize it by turning it into myths. To laugh about it, to strip it of its emotional aspect. And enshrining it only serves to keep you in the past--clearly not the best way to live. If the present were the past it could work, but. Nope. So what can I do? Review it, incorporate it into my life and try to transport what's positive with me, and leave the negative in the form of lessons (after all, that's what myths were intended to do). It's like everything else: it seems to hinge on your approach to it all.
So it looks like it's time for a review of nostalgia. I should have some Mythical Myths and Legendary Legends for you by then.
One never seems to be able to escape oneself. Pretty obvious. It's some strange form of chess, inevitably destined to end in a stalemate. Because both sides know the other side's plan. Maybe I want to forget, maybe I won't let myself. Maybe pain sucks, maybe I need it to keep it real. I've never been clinically diagnosed with depression, paranoia or anything, but when victims of those conditions describe them, they explain them as forces that overcoming them completely, describing themselves as paralyzed, so taken by surprise as though a tidal wave came from nowhere and simply crushed them, with the moment before that just cycling and cycling and cycling. Seems maddening.
And sometimes I hit those moments. I have my haunts and haunts they are indeed because all sorts of phantasmagoria move in and out of them. Sometimes I drift into a Dalì, sometimes I stare off into emptiness. All the while though, reliving moments and deciding to shed them or hang onto them. Do I take my yearning for the past and live that life, or take the moments and make them myths, instead of memories? I differentiate between myths and memories with myths being collections of words to describe a past event in some way that can be consumed by the masses, and with memories being entire sequences of associations that combined recreate a past event. Myths you can share with anyone, memories, you can only share with others who shared that experience. So which will it be?
It's only when you start facing the past and the future that you must make decisions in the present. Sounds like something someone once said, but as far as I know, it's just an observation of mine: you can take the path of least resistance for a very long time, especially if you're talented and you can follow the path that's laid ahead of you by others, but the path of least resistance is self-effacing. What you've done in your past is never reviewed by you--it never needs to. You have no accountability to yourself. What you'll do in the future is laid ahead of you, and never requires any preparation other than what you're doing. And what you do in the present will never be reviewed by you, and while it will determine what you do, you'll be doing what's offered to you anyway, because you don't need to reflect. You can get to 40, 50 and not know what you are, what you're capable of and realize your lost potential.
This isn't here as career advice, this is here because it applies to personal lives as well. You can never reflect on your past, say yes to the best opportunity that comes along and keep that complacency or you can spend some tough time reflecting, answering questions for yourself, searching and looking for the future you want and making decisions. Again, you can be free of accountability, or you can own your life, own your decisions, and if you decide on the path of least resistance because it's the easiest, you can make that active decision. In that process you need to figure out nostalgia: do you enshrine it, or desecrate it? It seems like it's easiest to desecrate it, to popularize it by turning it into myths. To laugh about it, to strip it of its emotional aspect. And enshrining it only serves to keep you in the past--clearly not the best way to live. If the present were the past it could work, but. Nope. So what can I do? Review it, incorporate it into my life and try to transport what's positive with me, and leave the negative in the form of lessons (after all, that's what myths were intended to do). It's like everything else: it seems to hinge on your approach to it all.
So it looks like it's time for a review of nostalgia. I should have some Mythical Myths and Legendary Legends for you by then.
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