Valentine's Day.
Think about it.
Valentine's Day: a mix of Medieval Courtly Love with Ancient Fertility Festivities. A saint is, in name, associated with a holiday which is essentially about physical, erotic love. Sex. Pretty interesting, huh?
It is in reality though, the most shallow holiday I can think of. Flag Day is infinitely deeper.
And yet, when you have a Valentine, one with whom you are deeply in love, it might seem like the best day ever. When you don't, the worst. And sometimes you feel like settling for a first date for Valentine's Day just so there's something. But to me, it even dries up that tiny bit of depth the holiday had and just makes it straight-up 2-D.
So I go and work at a flower shop for a few days around the holiday. I see all these guys and girls and couples coming in. And I just clean roses. Several thousand roses. A few arrangements...You see a dear friend of mine is a florist in the Bronx (Rainbow Florist if you need some flowers for your sweetie) and he always needs a feww extra sets of hands, so I've volunteered a couple of days since I was like 16. I watch guys who love their girls come in and count the dollars in their wallet and get the nicest thing they can afford, I see the guys who don't really love their girls come in and want the biggest and baddest set of flowers and the 4 foot teddy bear, I see the guys who come in and want bags of rose petals, but the ones that make me happiest are the ones who walk in and ask things like, "do you have any flowers that are particularly fragrant?" "can i pick out a bunch of the flowers and you add whatever will make it look really nice?" "she wouldn't like this one, but it's close--can we swap out a couple of these and put in a couple of other flowers". All of these different types: the guy who can't afford the holiday but doesn't want to let his girl down, the guy who has money but is mechanically getting the cliché, the guy who's all about getting her in the mood, are starkly opposed to the guy thinking about her. My favorite yet though is the guy who walked in and picked up an arrangement with no roses in it. I look at the florist and ask, "No roses?" He smiles and says "He picks up an arrangement for his wife every week. He always wants it to be different. A holiday like Valentine's Day doesn't matter much to them. I'd bet they celebrate it every day."
This holiday shouldn't be about love, abstract love, dinner, the right box of chocolates, how long the roses' stems are, the maid outfit (don't get me wrong, I'm not against that), the card, etc. It should be about whoever you're with. Then it's deep, then it's real, then it's very much worth celebrating.
And if there isn't anyone this year, why force it?
I should also mention that I applaud every couple with the sense of humor to go to White Castle. Theoretically, you're awesome; practically speaking though, you'll be hurting on Thursday. But at least it will be both of you, right?
Think about it.
Valentine's Day: a mix of Medieval Courtly Love with Ancient Fertility Festivities. A saint is, in name, associated with a holiday which is essentially about physical, erotic love. Sex. Pretty interesting, huh?
It is in reality though, the most shallow holiday I can think of. Flag Day is infinitely deeper.
And yet, when you have a Valentine, one with whom you are deeply in love, it might seem like the best day ever. When you don't, the worst. And sometimes you feel like settling for a first date for Valentine's Day just so there's something. But to me, it even dries up that tiny bit of depth the holiday had and just makes it straight-up 2-D.
So I go and work at a flower shop for a few days around the holiday. I see all these guys and girls and couples coming in. And I just clean roses. Several thousand roses. A few arrangements...You see a dear friend of mine is a florist in the Bronx (Rainbow Florist if you need some flowers for your sweetie) and he always needs a feww extra sets of hands, so I've volunteered a couple of days since I was like 16. I watch guys who love their girls come in and count the dollars in their wallet and get the nicest thing they can afford, I see the guys who don't really love their girls come in and want the biggest and baddest set of flowers and the 4 foot teddy bear, I see the guys who come in and want bags of rose petals, but the ones that make me happiest are the ones who walk in and ask things like, "do you have any flowers that are particularly fragrant?" "can i pick out a bunch of the flowers and you add whatever will make it look really nice?" "she wouldn't like this one, but it's close--can we swap out a couple of these and put in a couple of other flowers". All of these different types: the guy who can't afford the holiday but doesn't want to let his girl down, the guy who has money but is mechanically getting the cliché, the guy who's all about getting her in the mood, are starkly opposed to the guy thinking about her. My favorite yet though is the guy who walked in and picked up an arrangement with no roses in it. I look at the florist and ask, "No roses?" He smiles and says "He picks up an arrangement for his wife every week. He always wants it to be different. A holiday like Valentine's Day doesn't matter much to them. I'd bet they celebrate it every day."
This holiday shouldn't be about love, abstract love, dinner, the right box of chocolates, how long the roses' stems are, the maid outfit (don't get me wrong, I'm not against that), the card, etc. It should be about whoever you're with. Then it's deep, then it's real, then it's very much worth celebrating.
And if there isn't anyone this year, why force it?
I should also mention that I applaud every couple with the sense of humor to go to White Castle. Theoretically, you're awesome; practically speaking though, you'll be hurting on Thursday. But at least it will be both of you, right?
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