So I'm a stoic in a lot of ways, right? I've been called intimidating, tough to read, cold, critical. You know the whole drill--emotion's bad, it gives up your hand, you're never in control, play it cool (ICE COLD!), sense of duty.
On the other side, I like to think that my friends think of me as gregarious, generous, a good host, and a lot of other great G words (like...gangster). I walk into the room to high fives, with a bottle in hand, say a couple of things to break the ice and am boisterous without being a jerk.
But what happens if someone flips the stoicism on me and does it back and I do actually care? Then we're both showing the backs of similar looking cards as if we're indifferent. Communication breaks down, uncertainty reigns, neither side even knows how to interpret the other anymore because they play with a different set of rules with everyone else. The story of Tarzan, right? Knows he's different but has an established relationship with his surroundings and just thinks he's a different gorilla--then meets another human, and it's a total mindf*ck.
See, unfortunately, I have these dichotomies of business/personal, stoic/epicurean. The difficulty here is when they start overlapping or when they crossover with people outside of the business structure. My business structure can accept all types. My personal structure can't work on that business level. It demands a level of clarity and honesty, doesn't lend itself to games. And yet what if that forces me to deal with someone else who doesn't draw that line. Or what if the line between personal and friendly is more distinct. Or friendly and very close. Someone needs to trust first. Someone needs to take that step. It's always the case, but what if trust does not engender trust? What if that step of trust is met by nervousness and uncertainty.
Part of this heralds some sort of existential crisis. What is my place in the world? How do I fit with others? Semiotically, what is language and what does it actually signify? Add some deconstructionalism: when I speak does anyone understand me? Is communication even possible? And from the postmodern perspective, this takes the courtship process that my parents experienced, and the simplicity through which they formed friendships, and points out the ridiculousness of how quickly it all went by going to the other end of the spectrum and dragging things out across continents and through philosophical and intellectual wringers. So there are a lot of different ways to look at it, but ultimately it all proves absurd and that's what I love--hell, that's what I need.
Without absurdity, innovation is impossible. Without waking up everyday and thinking you can turn lead into gold, you deprive yourself of an imagination. And without hope, you condemn yourself to the worst of hard times.
Today, I celebrate 1 year of my business side's success (thanks to Christian too). I also face almost 25 years of my personal side trying to find its own success. But I'm happy that, looking forward, it has a path riddled with absurdty, hope and alchemy.
On the other side, I like to think that my friends think of me as gregarious, generous, a good host, and a lot of other great G words (like...gangster). I walk into the room to high fives, with a bottle in hand, say a couple of things to break the ice and am boisterous without being a jerk.
But what happens if someone flips the stoicism on me and does it back and I do actually care? Then we're both showing the backs of similar looking cards as if we're indifferent. Communication breaks down, uncertainty reigns, neither side even knows how to interpret the other anymore because they play with a different set of rules with everyone else. The story of Tarzan, right? Knows he's different but has an established relationship with his surroundings and just thinks he's a different gorilla--then meets another human, and it's a total mindf*ck.
See, unfortunately, I have these dichotomies of business/personal, stoic/epicurean. The difficulty here is when they start overlapping or when they crossover with people outside of the business structure. My business structure can accept all types. My personal structure can't work on that business level. It demands a level of clarity and honesty, doesn't lend itself to games. And yet what if that forces me to deal with someone else who doesn't draw that line. Or what if the line between personal and friendly is more distinct. Or friendly and very close. Someone needs to trust first. Someone needs to take that step. It's always the case, but what if trust does not engender trust? What if that step of trust is met by nervousness and uncertainty.
Part of this heralds some sort of existential crisis. What is my place in the world? How do I fit with others? Semiotically, what is language and what does it actually signify? Add some deconstructionalism: when I speak does anyone understand me? Is communication even possible? And from the postmodern perspective, this takes the courtship process that my parents experienced, and the simplicity through which they formed friendships, and points out the ridiculousness of how quickly it all went by going to the other end of the spectrum and dragging things out across continents and through philosophical and intellectual wringers. So there are a lot of different ways to look at it, but ultimately it all proves absurd and that's what I love--hell, that's what I need.
Without absurdity, innovation is impossible. Without waking up everyday and thinking you can turn lead into gold, you deprive yourself of an imagination. And without hope, you condemn yourself to the worst of hard times.
Today, I celebrate 1 year of my business side's success (thanks to Christian too). I also face almost 25 years of my personal side trying to find its own success. But I'm happy that, looking forward, it has a path riddled with absurdty, hope and alchemy.
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